Often when someone is about to climb up a career ladder to success, happiness will get in the way. It’s like being torn between two lovers, always caught between which to choose – success or happiness.
Why is there always a need to choose between those two? Can’t we just have both? It’s not about being greedy, but why not if at all possible?
Opportunity Knocks Not Just Once
Have you considered the thought of achieving success on your own terms, not dictated by some people who are already way ahead of you trying to reach for your hand to pull you up?
They often will persuade you by saying, “Opportunity knocks only once,” and not grabbing it means it will be gone forever, and will never again pass your way in your lifetime. That is the very reason why many are hurrying to go up the ladder, the thought of as if the steps will be burned if they will not take it. They think that there will be no other way up there but that just one path. The truth is, it will only be there, whether you accept it or not. Others following you might take it, but you don’t need to worry. There will be more ladders available which are more worth your climb.
Never Burn Your Boat Unless You Find Both In Your Destination
Sometimes, we follow other people blindly without listening to ourselves. We leave everything behind just to pursue the ambition, the dream we’ve imagined all our lives. But often, only when we are there will we realize that it’s not really what we wanted.
It becomes not what you imagined it to be, simply because it’s not the dream that you thought will bring you your happiness. This time your dream has failed you, so then what should you do next? You go back from where you started, doing what you’re passionate about, and begin again from there. “To shift to a more positive mindset and help you be more productive,” psychologist Emma Seppälä recommends, “replacing your belief in strengths with belief in your efforts and replacing self-criticism with self-compassion.”
Happiness Is A Choice
Before you decide on climbing up the ladder to career success, analyze and study things carefully. Is it worth the sacrifice? As what Dr. Wayne Dyer noted, “Our intentions create our reality.” Happiness is always a choice. Yes, you often have to make a decision, but if you made the right one, you could have both success and happiness at the same time.
Scrutinizing the tail and head sides of the coin, examining the four corners of your room, ask yourself, “Is this what I really want?” It’s a crucial question which you should be able to answer with all honesty.
The Climb Is Worth For Those Who Wait
“Opportunity will come your way just this once” are just words, a sales talk, with no much truth to it. Everything, good or bad, comes around and goes around.
The opportunity you did let go because you think it will put your happiness at risk, means waiting for another better one to come your way. When that happens, your glass may be half empty, very much available to be filled. This time, it might be something you’re ready to grab. Perhaps this time it’s something that will not just cater to your material needs, but something that you want and something that you really are happy to take on.
Success and happiness are not impossible to achieve; you just got to learn how to listen to your inner self, the one you’re hiding inside your mind and your heart. If it would mean letting go of what you’ve been dreaming of, so what?
Success will never make sense if you’re not happy about it. But once you’re satisfied with your choice, success is not far from your reach.
As what psychotherapist Joyce Marter quoted, “Everything in life is interconnected. As we evolve, our relationships, work and lives blossom. And, conversely, as we are impacted by our relationships and our work, we evolve.” If you let synchronicity take its course, happiness and success will unfold right before your very eyes.
Out of place. Irrelevant. Invisible. These feelings are horrible but common for some quiet members in certain groups of friends. According to neuropsychologist Theo Tsaousides Ph.D., “Fear of public speaking can prevent you from taking risks to share your ideas, to speak about your work, and to present your solutions to problems that affect many people — and as a result, it can affect how much you grow personally and professionally, and how much impact you can have.” If you lack confidence in speaking up in group conversations, here are a few tips on how to be more open and vocal.
Discover Why You Choose To Stay Quiet
Some are naturally quiet and soft-spoken for no reason. They are just not used to talking much in group conversations. The sad reality is you might be having negative feelings and thoughts that you tend to deal with on your own. It can lead to stress and frustration, which will negatively affect your brain, heart, and other organs. It is a domino effect.
It is vital to know the roots of your aloofness. If your peers are real friends, why are you afraid to open up? The most common reasons are as follows:
- You are scared to become too attached because of past experiences.
- You are not open to feedback or suggestions your friends may tell you.
- You got used to being judged, ignored, or not being heard.
- You are avoiding arguments and misunderstanding.
- You are not confident enough about your ideas and opinions.
- You feel like you cannot relate to most of the things your friends usually talk about.
If one of these is your reason, the problem might be on you and not them. Therefore, it is time to help yourself to contribute more and maintain social connections.
Start With Little Acknowledgements
You cannot just decide overnight that you have to start opening up. “Practice is also key to good preparation,” according to Susan Biali Haas M.D. Of course, you need to prepare your mental and verbal abilities first. You can begin engaging in your group talks more, face to face or online, by saying acknowledging statements such as the following:
- “I heard the same thing.”
- “You’re right.”
- “No way.”
These short responses are an excellent start to let them know you are still with them. Acknowledging them is a sign that you are a good listener. Also, they might reciprocate eventually and ask for more of your thoughts.
Politely Jump In And Know You Deserve To Be Heard
In every conversation, it is crucial to be a good listener. On the other hand, you need to accept the reality that most social group situations are chaotic. As Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary conclude, “humans have a need to belong: “a pervasive drive to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity of lasting, positive, and impactful interpersonal relationships.” You do not have to take it personally when some of your friends talk over you or do not get what you are saying. It is usual for everyone in a group to interrupt each other, speak at the same time, and continuously change the topic.
It is why you need to get the perfect timing to interrupt and talk politely. You can use humor to keep things light. Apologize if you have to. Consider your friends’ experiences and previous talks. That way, they can relate to you and respond better. There is no need to feel bad because of interrupting someone or being interrupted by someone.
Trust In Your Friends More
You are in your social circle for a reason. You might be huge in number, and not everyone may get along well. However, there should be one or two whom you can rely on. If you trust them enough and feel comfortable with them, you know you can speak up. Someone will always be interested in what you have to say.
Trust in your real friends, and they will surely hear you out. You do not always have to do the talking to fit in. Always remember open communication is fundamental in keeping the group together.
Do you understand the struggles we mentioned above? Share in the comments how you overcome them!
It’s late in the evening, and you can’t stop thinking of the hurtful words your loved ones utter to you. It’s difficult to sleep, and you don’t know why. It’s hard to fathom the creeping fear of those threats, the condemnation that it has brought to you. You are starting to lose your grip. Those words are destroying the inner peace you built ever since you decided that you are something better. Your strength is fleeting away as your words are neglected. You put so much pressure on negativity rather than think that things would soon be over and change. It’s never that way – it never has. You need to surpass your strength and weakness. You must die and be reborn over and over again, and by that, you shall live. “The healing process involves much preparation of personality and willpower to stay grounded in the truth of what happened – to say it out loud to themselves that they were wrongly violated,” as stated by Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.
You Allow It To Happen Until It Eats You Up
Emotional abuse transpires because you let it happen by the grace of love. You know you are damaged, but you decide just to let it go. But as it continues, it crushes your soul until the very moment that you are with a broken puzzle, with a desecration smile. Your life became blurry, and you find yourself lost in words, thoughts, and actions. You have countless sleepless nights, empty bottles, and incalculable bums of cigarettes. You succumbed to your peculiar nightmare. The next day that follows, you decide to live once more.
Pick Yourself Up As No One Will
Insecurities are around the corner, but you said to do you no harm. Grudge words that have once uttered lost its meaning and gone with the smoke. Scars embedded are full of stories for more great starts. Let those hurting words empower you to have the strength to pick up the pieces of the puzzle that will complete you to have the right attitude.
Let Me Tell You Something You Once Knew
Sometimes you wait too long for things to change and convince yourself that tomorrow the sun will rise again and the darkness will stay away, but what you fail to realize is that dimness is not the problem. A new day does not always solve all the issues as long as you don’t believe that there is a light within you that can keep you away from the moon and the stars at night.
There is light everywhere but more so in your eyes that look at things as a reason to stay strong or feel weak. You need to realize that when the sun goes down, it still leaves its power behind for you to breathe and see the possibilities in the dark as well. “Recovering is all about overcoming certain challenges and addressing symptoms,” according to Brook Sprowl, LCSW.
Right Attitude Makes You Your Own Hope
Never wait for the next day to start again, for the moments that change lives are not born with a sunrise. They yield when you start changing. Don’t be afraid to be your own sunshine.
Your life has been quite strange, but perhaps your attitude will gladly be the cornerstone of how you will manage to keep on living, the very thing that will empower you to have the right mindset to go on. It is never easy to live with a rollercoaster of emotions without the support of your loved one, and this could be the reason for your unhappiness.
“It is not your fault. Please find a way to reach out to get help from a trusted person in your circle of friends or family. If not one of them, then talk to a doctor or therapist about your situation. They can help you find resources and get you further help,” suggested Toby D. Goldsmith, MD.
Life is full of opportunities that will lead you exactly where you deserve to be. You have to be patient, taking one step at a time, and by the time you’re ready, the world will be there to brace you.
Are there days when you feel like you are a completely different person? Does it bother you at times whenever you have to talk to others, but you are not in the mood to do it? Is it challenging for you to get up in bed every day to get to work or do your assignments for the day? Do you think that it is time to change your old routine so that you can start to feel better? According to a therapist, if you answered yes to all these questions, there is a high probability that you are going through an emotional breakdown or depression.
Because of this, it is time that you change your perspective and encourage yourself to improve for the better. Keep in mind that now is the time to focus in starting to feel better each day. “People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them,” according to Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. Of course, it has to start with your attitude about life. Make sure that you remain positive, regardless of how things unfold in your day-to-day experiences. Keep in mind that the way you feel about yourself is the key to achieving genuine happiness in this world. In this article, we are going to show you a complete list of tips on how to start feeling better about yourself so that you can overcome depression.
Below are the essential items to remember:
Be Grateful For Everything
Sometimes, all you must do is to take a break from all the usual things that you do and take a moment to appreciate everything in your life. Be thankful for all the people that you have, especially those who have stayed with you through ups and downs. Take notice of the circumstances that have made you a better person. At the same time, you must also be grateful for all the blessings that you have in your life. By appreciating all these things, you are giving yourself a reason to smile. If you make this a habit, it will be a lot easier on your part to feel happiness. The end result is that you will never feel any emotional trouble ever again. “Generosity to other people, especially your neighbors”, according to Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky is “one of the main ways (along with expressing gratitude) that we can increase our happiness.”
Talk To Someone About Your Concerns
If something is bothering you now, do not hesitate to get in touch with a friend. Remind yourself that someone out there is always willing and interested to help you. Stop hating yourself too much for having problems or challenges. What you are feeling right now is only temporary, and it can improve any time soon. All you have to do is have the courage to discuss your troubles with a friend. The more you talk about it, the easier it is on your part to accept the problems. Aside from this, your friend can also encourage you to see a different perspective on life. Make sure that you do not waste your time crying in your room the entire time when you can feel better right away by talking about your issues. If you are not comfortable talking about personal matters to someone who knows you, then it is best to consider going on therapy. The therapist is bound by law not to disclose any information that he will get from your sessions,
Be Physically Active
Are you aware that your mental health is affected by your physical health? According to Matthew Tull, PhD, “Whether or not you have PTSD, regular exercise has a number of benefits. It can contribute to many positive physical health outcomes, such as improved cardiovascular health, weight loss, and greater flexibility and mobility.” If you refuse to take good care of your health, then there is a good chance that everything in your system will be affected adversely. Because of this, it Is crucial on your part to make exercise a big part of your daily life. No matter how busy you are, never make an excuse for not going to the gym or doing home exercises. You need to begin prioritizing your health as early as now. Whenever you encounter a difficulty in doing your daily exercise, always remind yourself of the benefit it carries so that you will continue to feel inspired. Look for a fitness buddy who can help you accomplish your goals. Take note that exercise will not only be good for feeling better about yourself. At the same time, it can also keep you healthy.
There are many things that you must never forget when it comes to taking good care of yourself. Always remember that you have to be patient and disciplined in doing all the things mentioned in this post. Be ready to experience the advantages that you are going to enjoy after you do all those things. Learn how to love yourself.
For people with mental health disorders, therapists and other members of the medical team focused on the most important thing – their treatment. However, sometimes no matter how much work is done for the patients to help them learn how to thrive and survive, it will not be as effective if the patient does not commit to doing his part. Ultimately, it is upon the patient to improve and get better. That’s why empowerment is a relevant parcel of treating mental health disorders. If a patient is empowered, he has the confidence and courage to battle the symptoms of his specific illness. (more…)
Are you thinking of getting therapy online now because you feel depressed whenever you manage to go to the first interview for a job but always fail to land the second? You have more experience or knowledge than the others, yet it remains hard for you to land your desired position. Although you answer the questions truthfully and perhaps get recommendations, you come out of the building as an unemployed individual still. “Hiring decisions are made on more than just skills and experience. It’s also about gut feelings and instinctual reactions,” said Psychologist Jeremy Dean, PhD.
In that case, it may no longer be your intellectual skills that pose a problem. It may be the clothes you wear to the interview and how you present yourself. According to a study by Frank Bernieri, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Oregon State University, “within the first 10 seconds of meeting your interviewer–otherwise known as the meet-and-greet–that person has decided whether or not you’re right for the job.”
You see, when you apply for a job, most especially in the corporate industry, you have to follow a dress code. Guys don’t need much preparation for interviews since it is common for them to wear coat-and-tie or long-sleeved polo and leather shoes. As a woman, though, you need to take extra precautions in dressing up because you want to impress your potential bosses not only with your intelligence but also your elegant appearance.
The worst thing to happen is when they see your attire inappropriate, you’ll be dismissed immediately without even looking at your qualifications. Thus, you better look over the following tips on how to dress for a job interview.
One of the reasons why qualified women fail to get the position that they want in a company is that their outfit is too much for the interviewers to bear. E.g., tight shirts or short skirts. That may work if you are applying as a calendar model or drag queen, but it won’t fly in the corporate world.
To land the job that you dream of, therefore, you should dress conservatively. Make sure that your tops do not have plunging necklines or your pants are not see-through. If you wish to put on a skirt, its hem should reach your knees at least. “Putting on formal clothes makes us feel powerful, and that changes the basic way we see the world,” explained psychologist Abraham Rutchick.
Wear Neutral Colors
Printed clothes are not for formal interviews, so you better keep them in your closet. Colors like navy blue, dark blue, white, and black are the safest colors you can wear because they are not too overpowering. Not to mention, they don’t make you look shabby as well.
If you cannot live without bright shades in your life, you may add yellow, pink, or even lavender as a pop of color. However, you have to minimize its presence in your outfit as much as possible.
Remember That Leather Is Good
Leather is not a must-have part of your ensemble, but it’s something you can always have to represent your formal side. You do not need to seem like someone from the Matrix movies by wearing leather from head to toe, though. It can be your shoes or your briefcase or your bracelet.
What’s cool these days is that leather no longer comes in black alone. You can find authentic ones in various shades of brown or gray. In case you are into other colors, you may get faux leather.
Keep It Simple
You can become presentable without looking like you are going to meet up with your friends in a bar. A simple matching pair of pearl or diamond earrings and necklace can never make you go in the wrong path. Light make-up will be highly appreciated too since it will show that you are more concerned with what people will tell about your work instead of your appearance.
Considering the role you are applying for requires you to look gorgeous, there is still a way to keep things simple. If you wish to be a model, for instance, it won’t hurt to wear strappy sandals with chunky heels or match a blazer with jeans. To bring out your edgy side, you may use a bold lip color or eyeliner.
Make Your Face Visible
Lastly, it matters to keep your hair away from your face. Whether you style your hair in an updo or merely pull your hair back with a ponytail, the interviews should be able to see your full face the entire time. This way, they can read your actions and tell how passionate you are about the job that you want to get.
In case you have short hair, it may be best to use mousse, gel, or hairspray. Not only will such products prevent your locks from covering the face, but it also ensures that your hands will not reach up on automatic to fix it. The opposite of that might distract the folks you are meeting with, frankly speaking.
To land the job of your dreams, it is not practical to depend on your intelligence alone. Between a genius who always wear grubby clothes and a person with an average level of IQ who dresses nicely, after all, a lot of companies may be willing to take in the latter more than the former. Harsh, we know, but true.
Before heading to a job interview, for this reason, you should think of how you can present yourself best. Good luck!
Now that the first month of the New Year is about to end, it is time to consider changing yourself into someone better that your friends and family would love. Make it a top priority to turn your life around so that you will become happier than ever. Keep in mind that as long as you remain as a negative person, it will be difficult on your part to accomplish great things. As such, you need to make an effort to become a better you. Below are some of the things that you must remember if you want to improve yourself:
Recognize Your Abilities
Remember that you are an amazing person who can succeed in this world. Do not let other people make you think that you are unworthy of love and affection. Take note that you have reached where you are now because you dared to keep going and persevere. As long as you recognize your abilities, you will become a great individual who is bound to experience the best things that life has to offer.
Stop Making Excuses
Learn to own up to your mistakes and never put the blame on others. Be responsible enough to identify yourself as someone who has done some unspeakable things. Never make the mistake of justifying all the bad or negativities actions that you have done in the past. Stop making excuses because it will not offer anything good on your part. Instead, accept the reality that you are not perfect, but it does not mean that you will continue to mess things up.
Be More Forgiving
Did someone hurt or cause any pain to you? Do you think it is high time to fight back or avenge? If you answered yes to these questions, then you are in great trouble. Remember that just because someone hurt you does not give you the right to hurt the same person again. Life is not all about revenge. Hence, you have to start to become more forgiving to those who have sinned. Be emphatic enough to understand what they are going through as well as their motivations. According to Lissa Rankin, M.D. ,a mind-body medicine physician, “Forgiveness is an offering of grace – and with that grace comes emotional freedom, liberation from the downward spiral of negativity that resentment breeds, and an opportunity for personal redemption.”
Wherever you go in this world, be sure to remind yourself of the importance of maintaining honesty at all times. The secret to becoming a better version of yourself is to have a deeper understanding of who you are. Avoid lying to others because it will only put you in a compromising situation. Be sure to tell everyone about the truth at all times. Failure to do this can lead to more problems and can even put you in trouble. Nonetheless, it is still imperative on your part to be more discreet when It comes to telling the unexpected truths about anything or anyone.
Listen To Others
Psychologist Diana Raab Ph.D. asks, “Are you open-minded and flexible? This means that you’re self-aware and listen to the thoughts and musings of yourself and others.” Another technique that you must consider if you want to transform yourself is to have constant and effective communication with the people around you. Learn how to listen to what others have to say about the way you live your life and how you act. Always remember that these people only want nothing but the best from you. As such, if someone approaches you and points out a bad thing about your attitude or action, make sure to avoid acting hysterical. Instead, appreciate the fact that someone still cares.
The next strategy that you must consider primarily is to focus on acquiring more knowledge about a particular topic. Every day is an opportunity to enjoy education outside the bounds of a four-walled classroom. For example, you can sign up for workshops or seminars so that you will learn something new from the keynote speakers or even the attendees. Just make sure to listen carefully to get the essential details.
Be Kind And Generous
To make yourself feel good and achieve continuous improvement, it is imperative on your part to spread kindness to everyone around you. Do not be aloof, but instead find a way to share what you have to those who are unfortunate in this life. Never let anyone feel that you are selfish as it can create chaos. At this point, you need to think of the positive effects that will come in your life the moment you start acting generously for those who deserve it.
Never-ending improvement is only possible if you continue to appreciate what you have in this life. Recognize the great things surrounding you. At the same time, make an effort to let your loved ones know how much they matter in your life. You will never succeed if you have no ability to become grateful. The best part of all is that practicing gratitude is so easy to do. You just need to start looking for the best in every person, circumstance or situation. Do not keep on wanting for more if you think it will not be worth it in the end.
“When you practice things like gratitude or mindfulness, your brain creates shortcuts for these skills, making it easier and easier each time you do it,” said Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.
Make 2019 as the year of new beginnings/
The human brain can sometimes experience difficulty in programming the things you desire. That’s due to the hindering reality you see in front of you. Sometimes, even a slight sense of brain’s vibration to external noise can limit the mind’s potential to concentrate on wanting something. According to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, “In life, we are each dealt a different hand of hardships and blessings. It would appear that life is not fair in her dealings, but I believe we are each given the exact hand we need to learn the lessons of our unique, psycho-spiritual journey.”
For most of us, the reality of everyday life is the dominant information that only exists. It serves as a reminder to the subconscious mind to manifest on desires even if you are not consciously focused on those particular things. Since the spatial memory within the mind exists, there is recorded information of the environment along with spatial orientation. The memory purely runs in auto-pilot patterns once it established the process of positioned thoughts. Meaning, there’s going to be a large portion of mental power dedicated to understand and learn the layout of the environment as well as remembering its significant markers. It is one of the mind’s “cheat codes” in building desires and wants in life.
Super-Charging Exercise For The Mind That Creates Law Of Attraction
- The art of picking a familiar place that you know well helps your mind stay calm and focused. It could be some areas in your house, a favorite restaurant, somewhere near the park, an office building, or anywhere that makes you feel at ease just by thinking about it. Though this method is conventional, its farthest point reaches positivity in both mental and emotional aspect.
- The imagination of yourself walking in a particular path that you know so well also creates a law of attraction. It allows you to take time to view yourself in a vivid environment. It helps you manage the obstacles in your head and arrange them in a particular order based on its level of difficulty, priority, advancement, and control.
- The manifestation of your desires lies in your ability to think through it. The aim of achieving something without concentrating on small hindering substances is what makes it more achievable. It’s like thinking about getting something without experiencing pain, worries, sorrow, and hardship. Though it’s merely impractical to do, there’s still a possible chance that it might happen. It forces the memory part of the brain to believe in the validity of the things you want. As Dr. Joyce Brothers said, “Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”
- The subconscious mind controls almost half of the brain’s capacity to function. Therefore, setting up triggering words in it becomes a great option. For instance, you can tell yourself that you can make it, that there’s nothing you can do, and that the things you want are the ones you deserve. Soon enough you’ll realize that those triggering words eventually become your reality. That’s because these words resonate with your specific environment.
The primary consideration of using your mind to achieve the things you want is conceivably through imagination. The more noticeable the images are, the easier the process would be for the subconscious to set it as the new goal. Being that your mind dynamically understands the environment, it will remember the marks of desires you put in there even if you don’t physically have it yet. “With the right mindset, it may be possible to handle challenges better and pursue success without getting down on yourself,” said Catherine Moore, Psychologist, MBA.
What is the first thing or thought that comes into your mind when you hear the word “happiness”? Many people have varying definitions or explanations about this specific word. The reality is that everyone aspires to reach a certain level of happiness or pure bliss. If you consider yourself as an aspirant, then be sure to read this article from start to finish. You will be surprised with the ideas presented that will motivate you to choose a life full of happiness.